The Girl Who Travels vs The Girl Who Loves To Travel

A recent blog post, Don't Date A Girl Who Travels, posted on lovethesearch.com by Adi Zarsadias got quite some interesting traffic after sharing it via social media. What was most interesting were the comments, with many girls agreeing that this post was exactly what girls who travel are like and with guys and a couple of girls stating that it made the girl look too carefree or flakey.

To summarize the article, the author states men should not date girls who travel unless they can keep up with spontaneity and adventure. Among some beautiful sun-kissed descriptions about girls who travel were these hard-hitting ones: This type of girl may have wasted her degree, doesn't have a permanent address nor knows when her next paycheck will come in. You can see why girls who love to travel got upset at those descriptions. But in all honesty it's quite the accurate description of a girl who travels.

While I disagree with the term 'wasted' her degree, I think she transferred the skills of independent thinking, responsibility-for-self, continuous learning, etc.to any occupation.

A girl who travels - this is not someone who goes on two-week vacations. This is someone who is nervous yet excited about uprooting her life and moving away for a year, at least. She might be cherry-picking in Australia this year, cow-tipping in southern France next year and teaching English in Korea the year after that. Truly, she knows not when her next paycheck will come in nor who will be the one paying it.

A girl who travels - while you may think she's flakey because she may change jobs frequently and may not even have a job you consider a 'real job' - before you criticize her or even try to understand her, realize she is living in a different league from you - not better nor worse, just different. There's no point comparing her to mainstream girls who just have a love for travel and dream of travel but could never even entertain the thought of a total uproot, let alone a backpacking adventure in hostels for months on end. There's a reason she's a freelancer, it always allows her to jump - flake, according to some - at any adventure.

The reason she doesn't have a permanent residence is because she's so used to living in different countries, she can't guarantee she'll be in this one for much longer. Or, that she lives with family when she's back in her 'hometown' as she'll be on her next adventure in no time.

And yes, she may never need you, but she will want you. She's independent enough to not depend on a partner but knows a very deep love, you'd be lucky to experience. She'll give you your space and encourage you to be your own individual but continue to love you, no matter the distance. Neither of you will be limited in your own bucket-lists just because you're a "couple" now.

Yes, most women who love to travel do share similar appreciations of travel as women who travel. They both want to see the world, both may be willing to backpack, stay in hostels, experience local cultures and become aware of the good and not-so-good that a country has to offer.

We all have a little bit of the Woman Who Travels in us, but can rarely commit to it as well as she can.

Wearable Tech: The Age of Cool and Crazy but Companionless?

We’re heading into an age of wearable tech (see CES, a showcase on consumer electronics). If for some reason you still haven't heard of it, think USB necklaces, phone-charging bracelets, vibrating pants, GPS jackets, etc. Think Bond, James Bond. Wearable tech is technology that you can wear - hopefully fashionably. While it's a task in itself to design tech that can be worn on a person and is mobile all day, every day; it's even more cumbersome to make this technology fashionable, discrete and invisible.

As engineers and designers continue to collaborate to create items that will fill our lives in the near future, it's a clear sign that life is about to get busier. Who has time to call home and ask someone to turn off the dishwasher, just text your dishwasher to stop or repeat a cycle. Why ask a stranger for directions, instead wireless waves will tap you on the shoulder. Why waste time in a doctor's office around strangers, instead have an e-visit.

Yes, technology can and does make life more efficient, things happen much quicker and days go by much faster, but what's to say of how it will continue to shape our human interactive relationships with each other.

What's the impact wearable technology will have on relationships?

Instead of meeting up with people, we began to pick up the phone, and now we simply send out a 140 character message. When's the last time you laughed while typing out 'lol'? Why indulge in foreplay when I already caused your pants to vibrate at the bar for 20 minutes? Will we have more less-deeper connections? Or will be have cooler gadgets that will give us more in common to talk about? Will this create more ways for different groups to connect - like the vibrating pants club? Maybe tech is our way to connect now but don't forget to push forward for a more human connection - blog/post/click/like/share/snapchat/instagram your thoughts but also talk to your friends about it. 

People seem to be more connected yet less connected. Gadgets are cool, they make things previously impossible or too difficult, quick and easy. Hello, wearable medical gadgets, rather than being confined to a bed. And while quick and easy is great for some things - okay, maybe most things - it's not great for everything.No thank, food that can be consumed only in a pill form.

Once it becomes fashionable, it's made for the masses (see link on Barneys New York and CDFA's plans for collaboration with Intel). Fashion and tech will unite to affect our lives, as they always have. But when you wear a piece, don't forget to share it. Don't forget interpersonal connections. The increase in tech devices has increased everyone's number of acquaintances, but it's up to each individual to maintain if not increase their number of real friends.

Wearable tech means we'll be multi-tasking more often. Shoes that have an LED twitter feed will encourage wearers to tweet more at clubs (rather than enjoy the experience and interact with people?) and therefore to not just hold a drink, take a selfie, smile at the cute bartender but also to share it with the world. Aren't we already doing that? Yes, but if your shoes show you a constant twitter feed, aren't you constantly staring at it, reading people's tweets and feeling the urge to post?

Wearable tech would achieve its greatness in continuing to increase personal efficiency, being fashionable but also bringing people together. So far it's a sign that life's about to get busier and edgier, but hopefully not lonelier.

Upcoming event: Wearable Tech Expo

Finding the Perfect Bag is Like Finding the Perfect Man

The perfect bag, just like the perfect man, does not exist. Let me elaborate.

I've been on the hunt for the perfect bag for at least five years now. To no luck, every bag I've purchased has held my fancy for about six months at the most. While shopping for a bag, the pros are always at the forefront of my mind: the colour, the number of pockets, current trend and body fit (I'm petite;). This screening process however doesn't suffice three months (sometimes three weeks) into using the bag. I find that it's not big enough, too large, holds a lot but gets too heavy, rips or just doesn't suit as many outfits as I thought it would.

The bottom line is things change. What we look for changes from month to month or sometimes from week to week. Today, colour and trend may be most important with Fashion Week in progress. Last week, usability and practicality were priorities with the start of school semesters or work contracts. In a month, size and durability will matter when you're fully immersed in your school or work life and start bringing work home.

I've found favourite bags, clutches, purses and totes, but not the perfect one. Not one that I would use day in and day out nor use constantly years and years after purchase.

Just like our needs and wants for our perfect bag change, we change and so does what we want in that 'perfect man.' What you wanted him to consist of when you were 15 years old is different from when you are 18, 21, 25, 27, 30, 32, 35, etc. It's impossible to find the perfect man, who is everything that you want and need at every single point in life.

But maybe, just maybe, we aren't on the lookout for a perfect man after all. Maybe in this case, finding our favourite man is good enough. Just like our favourite bag that we'll never throw out and always keep, just because it's 'that' bag. It's got a trendy-ish colour, small when we need it to be and holds whatever we need to stuff in it when we need to and still somehow hasn’t ripped. Maybe being your favourite is all he needs to be. After all, that's the one bag that has made it with me through 10 years, and it still sits there waiting for whenever I need it.

Inhibition of Ambition

I've been feeling ancy lately.

Not sure why.

But unfulfilled.

Like something big is supposed to happen to me but it hasn't yet.

And I'm waiting.

Waiting for it to happen.

Waiting to know what it is.

This waiting has me irritated.

I can't enjoy moments because I keep thinking about this 'big thing'.

Wondering what it is.

Wondering if where I am currently and what I'm doing is a step in the right direction.

Is this bar I'm at or are these friends I'm with a waste of time?

Do I need to go home and reroute my life to get to this 'big thing'?

But I want to enjoy these moments.

Laughter. Jokes. Getting dressed up for silly occasions.

Maybe the 'big thing' can wait.

If it's going to happen, it will.

So why give up my current happiness for what will be future happiness.

It's an uneasy feeling so it's hard to shake off.

But maybe this bar, this guy, this job, are steps in the right direction.

If I make it so.

I either learn that I like it and enjoy it or that it's not for me.

Both put me in a better position and closer to the 'big thing'.

Maybe the 'big thing' is me.

And my every moment.

Maybe the big thing is just my ambition.

My consistent want for more, for better, for bigger.

But maybe it's my enjoyment of the current pleasures will aid rather than inhibit my ambitions for my future.

So maybe it's in contentment of every moment that I can find fuel for my ambition.

If you can't be happy now, chances are that you are sour and that taints your drive to your goals. Happiness, even in the smallest of circumstances puts a positive spin and helps fuel your drive to where you want to someday be.

"Forget me not." - New Year's Resolutions

With the end of week one most people have deemed themselves winners or losers of resolutions. Eleven days into January, there are those who have started their resolutions and are hoping to continue and those who have failed to begin and now feel that it’s too late to begin (it’s not, you’re just 11 days behind, out of 365).

See: Top 10 reasons we don’t stick to our resolutions.

New Year’s resolutions always create a mixed set of emotions in me. Lofty, vague and immeasurable are the reasons for the death of my resolutions, as I never know whether I’ve accomplished them or not (e.g. network more: Are there a certain number of new people I must know by the end of the year? Do they have to be friends? Do the few people that I’ve met at events count even though I’m not in touch with them anymore?) Yet, every 31 of December I find myself making a resolution.

The urge to make resolutions seems tied to the desire to set goals and the opportunity to restart. However, the process of making a resolution is even more beneficial as it forces a person to reflect on the past year and realize what s/he wants to work on and what is lacking in their lives at present.

See: Why we make New Year's resolutions? 

However, when looking at the resolutions that people make, it all seems to come down to self-control. “No more chocolate.” “Junk food limited to once a month.” “Shopping sprees once every two months.” “Socialize more and meet new people.” “Try new things.” “Blog more.”

Self-control: control or restraint of oneself or one's actions, feelings, etc.
© dictionary.com

All these resolutions encourage individuals to practice self-control – controlling eating and spending habits and controlling fears or laziness and time management.

At the core of self-control is self-awareness. One must be aware of him/herself in order to control him/herself. So if resolution-making isn’t your thing or if you’re giving up on your resolution already, at least give the reflection part a chance. Think about what you would like to modify about yourself if you were to make a resolution. This process in itself reveals much about what you think of yourself, your characteristics and more importantly areas that you’d like to improve.

Image © Jeff Epp via Flickr http://www.flickr.com/photos/eppstein/5724341693/

Resolutions on food = health and appearance
Resolutions on spend = money conscious
Resolutions on socialization = feelings of belonging; mental health; professional development

Check out the top 10 New Year’s resolutions here.

Speed Dating: Who, Why & Wear

There’s music playing in the background. Twenty-five tiny tables are lined along the lounge. A place card sits on each table. Romantic lighting, of the candle-light-flicker variety, illuminates the supper club. A woman sits at each of the tables while the males are huddled by the bar. They seem more relaxed with a drink in hand compared to the women who sit nervously in solitude at their own tables. The bell rings and the men scatter to find the table with the place card to which they’ve been assigned. At once the music gets blocked out as twenty-five conversations fill the space, all among strangers who now have 2.59 minutes to earn a checkmark under YES.

 

Image courtesy of 49st. A speed dating event
squeezes in an additional line of tables
in the aisle and eliminates all dinnerware.

Who?

Upon returning from the event, the first question asked was “were there any normal people?” and “who goes to these things?” This got me thinking about what exactly was “normal” and who defined it?

 

Female attendees: Most women were 30 years old and above with five being under 27. The age brackets for the event were 25-35. Most were looking to meet someone. Some women mentioned that they were nervous about what to say in their three minutes and others were looking for something different to do on a Thursday night.

 

Male attendees: Many were in the IT field. Surprisingly, most were able to engage in a conversation. I had expected nervous and fidgety men, I guess. They weren’t creepy, except for Mr. I-Can’t-Make-Eye-Contact-Ever, Mr. SmirksALot who seemed to wink at everything and Mr. JobInterview.

 

I tried to ask out-of-the-ordinary questions and most of the conversations seemed like casual bar talk - without the spark but still friendly. (Too fast-paced to flirt? Too time-pressured to flirt? Not the environment for a love at first sight feel? All to be discussed in Matched... now what?) Most of the male attendees seemed evenly divided by first timers and repeat daters. The repeat daters admitted that they couldn’t do this every week because it was exhausting to meet so many people in a fast-paced environment. One patron said he didn’t “remember the first five girls and forgot to write anything down”. It was indeed an effort to remember the first few after the fourth or fifth person, causing my note-taking to become more frequent. People do tend to blur after a while.

 

All in all, the gender dynamic seemed to play in this manner: Men had the opportunity to talk to women whom they would have otherwise been too intimidated to talk to. Women conversed with men whom they might have previously never given the time of day.

Why?

Most of the men stated that they were there to meet people. Some used the euphemistic phrase of “meet new friends” and later stated that they were “looking to date” and “find someone”. Most of the guys mentioned that they wanted to date but said that they were open to meeting new people and “taking it from there”, to “see where it goes”. There was a lot of groupon love that night as almost everyone whom I met had used the groupon offer for a half off price.

 

Outside of speed dating and in conversations will male friends and acquaintances, when asked about their opinions on speed dating many felt that it would be a great place for men to hook up based on the assumption that the women attending are actually looking for male companionship. Of course not all men are looking to hook up and only in conversing with them after the match is made can you find out more about their intentions and the potential of the contact.

Interesting reasons:

“I just got out of a messy relationship where I broke it off with my fiancée.”

“I lost a bet with a friend and so she made me come to this speed dating event.”

“I’m trying to get out there again because your social circle shrinks when you get older.” (great point; future blog post on this ;)

“I’m here to support my friend who is trying to meet new people and get out there.”

“I’m trying to get out there and meet new people because I’m not going to meet someone while watching tv at home.”

Why did I go? To satisfy the curiosity of speed dating in each one of you reading this post right now.

 

Wear?
Most of these events try to inform you with ideas on what to wear. For example they tell you to dress like what you would wear on a date or maybe when out for cocktails with friends.

 

Well the men definitely dressed as if they were on a date. They were fairly well dressed, many in blazers or dress shirts and trousers.

 

The women were well dressed too, but definitely not as if on a date. I can’t help but feel that each one of the women that night would have been more dressed up if they were on a one-on-one personal date. They were in pants or jeans and blouses or knit cardigans, some in sweater dresses and stockings. This is understandable as women at a speed dating event who dress too provocatively may give off the wrong signal and garner too much attention for the wrong reasons. This would cause you to contemplate the reason as to why you have 25 matches – was it your conversation or cleavage? Women were dressed modestly, probably saving their flare for the real date.

 

What did I wear? Leather jacket, black and white sweater dress with boots and a statement necklace. Chic.

 

Next up in the series:

Do's and Don'ts of Speed Dating

Matched... now what?

Speed Dating: Awkward or Artful

Given my incessant need to go out and try new things, the idea of speed dating came up and garnered some curiosity.

Who goes to speed dating?
Does it still exist?
What do you say there?
Do you actually meet people?
Are they weird?
What's wrong with them?
What do you wear?

These are just some of the questions that I had before I stepped on site. Get ready for the series of blogposts on the deed, Speeding Dating Series. Keep in mind that not everyone's experience is the same and my opinions and experiences are by no measure exclusive of all such experiences.

Here's my take: Speed dating is that conversation you have at a bar/club/lounge when the music stops blaring for a couple minutes. The only difference being the lack of the awkward number exchange.

Speed dating highlighted the awkwardness that still somewhat exists today regarding the "can I call you sometime?" process.

When you're at a bar/club/lounge and a stunner approaches you to dance/talk/drink and you engage with said person, what happens when they leave without asking you for your number? Awkward.

Then you can be talking to individuals whom you have no interest in exchanging numbers with - how do you say no to them? or that you'd just like to be friends? Awkward.

Getting someone to ask you for your number? Awkward.

Asking someone for their number? Awkward.

Ok fine these situations are not all that awkward for the socially apt, but even we sometimes get tired of manoeuvring the game.

Bear in mind it can still be awkward when you receive an email from a speed dating company saying that you have no matches (meaning no one whom you had an interest in felt the same about you) but offering you a free session.

But for the most part speed dating eliminates that awkwardness. If you're clicking with someone whom you just feel like flirting with but not pursuing - no problem. If you're smiling politely at someone who is beyond interested in you and you know that friendship is nowhere in sight - no problem. If you can't stand the arrogant person and three minutes seems like three hours - no problem. If s/he is coming on too strong, planning your wedding china - no problem. You never have to give your number a.k.a you never have to check 'yes'. And hopefully you never run into them.

One of the patrons tonight said, "it's less intense and nerve-wrecking than the bar scene where girls are defensive and have their guard up because they just get guys hitting on them and think that all guys just want one thing." "Atleast here everyone's friendly and willing to talk to you for a bit." People did seem much more polite at speed dating and even if uninterested they do give you a couple minutes of their time instead of brushing you away (thereby easing the shut-down impact). Girls who would've probably never given certain guys the time of day and vice-versa actually ended up having a conversation.

Of course, regarding the awkwardness at a bar/club/lounge a simple "no, sorry I'm not interested" or "can I call you sometime?" could be said, but let's be real it isn't always so simple. Sometimes people get nervous, sometimes you're out of your league, sometimes you just don't feel like being rude, and sometimes we/they just can't take a hint (no matter how many times you touch his arm or place your arm on her waist).

So say what you may about speed dating and think what you want about it but it does do something to eliminate the sometimes awkward "let's link up" "can I call you" "call me, maybe" "digits please" etc., process.

Not sure if I'll be a serial speed dater but it was a fun experience and a great way to network with people whom you may not usually meet (in addition to providing me with tons of material for several blogposts to come). It's definitely something to try at least once.

Next in the Speeding Dating Series:
Speed Dating: A New High or Low
Speed Dating: Who, Why & Wear
Speed Dating: Do's & Don'ts

Pumpkin Carving Dishes on Personality

"An artistic and bond-building hoopla."

This year the challenge was to carve a pumpkin that represented you/your personality. The results were quite revealing. The Beckhams carved out pumpkin faces which imitated their own. 

And here's some of the expertise of the local royalty kind. 

Bucktoothed jolly angel. Angry evil count. Sass. Smiling twins.

 

Personalities Revealed:
Bucktoothed jolly angel: A self-proclaimed tinkerbell.
Angry evil count: An smart ass with a persistent need to play defensive. 
Sass: A forsaken self-affirmed charmer.
Smiling twins: Long time partners with hearts of gold (no matter how scary they try to be).

Personality is reflected even in the most mundane things that we do. What did your costume or pumpkin carving reveal about you?

The Fright Night Pumpkin Carving Kit ($2) makes pumpkin carving for kids, newbies, oldies and anyone interested in it an absolute breeze. Happy Halloween. 364 days to go ;)

 

Dinner for One

This past weekend was Thanksgiving weekend. It is a time during which families and friends get together and traditions and routines are put on display. This is especially hard on a newly single person. Being in a relationship for a prolonged period of time brings a partner into one’s home and makes room for them at the table, leaving a gaping empty spot in what used to be their place when they are gone. Whether it was a happy or hurtful break up, the holidays tend to bring up some unwanted memories. You cannot help but remember them sitting at the table, smirking at you due to an inside joke, conversing with your friends and family and just being there confirming the holiday warmth. Therefore it is only natural that the holidays can be a nightmarish ordeal for the newly single, recently dumped, freshly freed, etc.

Some ways to cope:

Ensure that your immediate family and close friends are aware of your new status so that they can become your diversion force. They can scatter themselves around the table thereby occupying the seat beside you/wherever your significant other sat. They can help deflect conversations about your relationship status and quickly change topics with nosy extended family members. But most importantly they can be your reminder of the positivity in your life. Of course it would be great if family and friends knew to do this already but sometimes they may need a gentle reminder that you may still be hurting/healing. These four to five individuals who are devoid of judging you can help ease your unattached status into the holiday parties and mood.

Take a breather if you need one. There’s no point overdoing a positive appearance if you do not feel like it. Take a moment and excuse yourself to the washroom, take a couple of deep breaths, realize that you are accepting the reality that is yours and not denying it, be thankful for the support that you have around you and then exit back to the festivities. Allow yourself to be distracted with the celebrations, you deserve it.

Wear something daring that puts you in good spirits and in a way allows you to focus on on something else. Pulling off a new outfit or something different gives you something else to concentrate on and is especially great because it is something that you are doing for yourself. Daring does not mean provocative, it means an outfit that you've been wanting to try out but wondered if you could ever pull off - this is subjective (check out upcoming post on the maxi dare).

Try to involve yourself in the preparations and the conversations.
I know that there are some times when we would rather be curled up in bed rather than out with people, but a newly single individual gets enough alone time and needs to maximize the opportunities to be around people. It may suck to explain your situation but the more people you are comfortable telling, the more you come to accept it and deal with it.

Happy healing :)

Quarter Century

"It's about the relationship you have with yourself" - chimerashinobi

In a recent Style.com article that I read, Zoe Saldanha says

"Now that I'm later in my life, it's about accepting what I need and not what I want," the actress said. "What I want on my birthday is to go somewhere remote and be all melodramatic and feel bad for myself and what I need is the opposite. I need to be surrounded by the ones that I love."

It definitely is about what you need more so that what you want. In giving her comparision on what she wanted versus what she needed, I started thinking about my life. As a week has passed from my quarter-life (point) I decided to take the time to realize what I truly needed and make an effort to separate it from what I merely wanted.

Wants                                                                     Needs
To try a hundred different careers                               Pick two or three of interest and actually start pursuing them
To continue trying at a dying relationship                    Leave and learn to be without it
To continue to enjoy the comforts of home                 Gain some independent life experience
To write and write and write                                       Write seriously and start submitting for publishing
To stay in school forever                                           Applying/enrolling in appropriate courses depending on needs #1

You get the want versus need?

So what better time to start than now - 25 years - seems to be the most appropriate time for a fresh start or a new chapter. It's the beginning of adult hood (18 is not an adult no matter what you think) and it's still young enough to not be afraid of making mistakes and taking chances, while still forcing you to take life seriously.

However, in addition to making a list of wants and needs make a list of achievements to help you realize what you've done so far. And if you're having trouble coming up with one that you find satisfying, get your close friends to write one up for you - you'll be quite pleased.

So quarter-life crisis, my rear. It's more like a quarter-life blessing, to have the opportunity to take the time and analyse life thus far and realize what you need from here on forth. It's no longer about your wants but about your needs.

Living by your wants will never keep you satisfied because deep down inside there's a void in the 'needs' department. So get to it and realize what it is that you need and happy crisis-aversion!

Looking forward to what my follow-up post a year from now will be :)

Check out: The Forever Looming 5-Year Plan
*this post can be ignored by all those 25 year olds who have always had their lives together, though still encourage yourself to think about what you need from here on forth because no matter how together your life is, you probably still have goals (keeners, go-getters, slackers - everyone has a goal/dream/vision/fantasy)

Honda Indy: A feast of sights and sounds

Vroooooommmmmmmm Vrrrroooooooooommmmmmmmmm Rooooooooaaaaaaaar!

Honda Indy is a feast of sights and sounds.

A true treat for your eyes and ears!

"There's nothing quite like a car revving up at 900 horsepower"

This weekend was Honda Indy. Never having had the opportunity to attend the Hondy Indy before, this was my first time and I was excited! I have previously heard nascar sounds and f1 style cars compete (see previous Formula North post) but I had never seen or heard official Indy cars. And there is a difference, I learned. So here are the details on my first Hondy Indy experience. Bear in mind that I am no car expert or car fanatic but I do enjoy the race atmosphere, competitive environments and of course the sights and sounds of the Honda Indy. Don't forget to follow @hondaindy for details of the competition, the play-by-play and the winners.

The VIP experience:
Our VIP treatment included access to the grounds, the paddocks and the Dr. Pepper stands. The view from the stands was incredible as it was at a corner and included a good acceleration strip. Therefore you could see the drivers try to overtake and make passes right in front of you. What added to the excitement was the closeness to the screen, therefore whenever the cars passed our stands or were out of sight, we could always follow them on the jumbo-screen that was directly to our right.

The Dr. Pepper girls tossed out t-shirts and an endless supply of Dr. Pepper while educating their audience in the stands on some Dr. Pepper history (did you know Dr.Pepper has 23 flavours, 20 of which are a secret!) The paddocks provided attendees the chance to watch cars being worked on, get fueled up and roll in and out, to and from the track. The logos on the crew's shirts and the stickers on the cars constantly remind the audience of the sponsorship that goes into this expensive industry. I never realized how large Indy cars were until they passed right in front of me.



Of course the closeness to the track was the best part of the day as you could actually go up to the fence and watch the cars pass by and feel your heart and bones vibrate! Loved every minute of it!!!

Audience members reportedly felt that the event was "pretty cool"  and were "amazed by the scale [of the event]" stating that the "organization of the event was great". "[Seeing] more than one car on the track at high speed [was] quite exhilarating".

I was pleasantly surprised by the demographics of those in attendance. If you thought of the Honda Indy as a guy's event, Saturday July 7th would prove you wrong. While there were indeed many groups of guys, there were a visibly large number of families at the event. Also many of the guys at the event attended with female companions, thereby providing a nice mix of females and families at the Honda Indy 2012. Most of these individuals were seen along the fences and in the paddocks. The stands looked empty until the afternoon but didn't stay packed for too long.

The paddocks were seen to humanize the event through the provision of opportunities for interaction and an up-close look at the cars. While I didn't notice many participants interacting with the crews, I'm sure that those with specific questions would be able to interact with members of their favourite teams. This was in contrast to a trade-show which has much more constant interaction with its participants.

 There were indeed many families and groups of friends who were curious (there are also many fans who attend annually) about the Toronto-event and were looking for something "cool" to do on the weekend that was also a highlight in Toronto versus the attendees at a tradeshow who probably have a stronger interest in automotives and motorsports.

Nonetheless you could tell that the audience enjoyed the Honda Indy by the sheer number of those in line for an autograph and the eyes constantly fixated on every Indy car that passed by.

I had no earplugs during the entire day and loved every minute of it. It was great to see first-hand and definitely felt good to cross off an item on my Lo-cket List: the list of must-do things in Toronto. Looking at the pictures still makes my heart vibrate and I can still hear the cars zoom by!

Honda Indy Toronto 2012

The Lo-cket List

Lo-cket = local + bucket list

- Attend Toronto Fashion Week
- Attend Honda Indy Toronto
- Visit Centre Island
- Zip-line
- Trampoline Park
- Perform at World Youth Day Toronto
- Run up the stairs to the CN Tower
- Walk in a TFW runway
- Visit every district in downtown Toronto
- Dinner and drinks at the Real Sports Bar
- Be in the live studio audience at MTV or MuchMusic
- Attend the Annual Caribana Parade
- Attend the Annual Pride Parade
- Fall asleep reading a book by the Harbourfront
- Have my own livable studio space downtown
-
-


*this list is always open to suggestions and will be updated constantly
*local and international suggestions are welcome
*An interational list is in progress and will soon be included in the Travels categories

Performing: an addictive high

Today I performed. It was the first time I performed a piece written by myself in front of an audience, most of whom I barely knew. Safe to assume that I was completely nervous. I can't even say that it was a mix of nervous meets excited because the level of excited was drastically overwhelmed by the nervousness.

Anyways, getting up to the front of the crowd reminded me that I've never really given my written pieces to anyone to critique, never read any of my rhymes to people who themselves write, creatively, nor have I ever read out poetry done by myself. So this was like jumping to level 3 and just getting it all out there.

I was so eager to have someone tell me whether I was delusional about my work or whether I was actually good. I wanted to know how to get better and what I even sounded like. So yes, this was the perfect opportunity.

Hearing everyone else perform their pieces made me feel like mine were amateur and juvenile. I was not too sure if I should perform. However, once I was called upon and the other members began chanting my name, I couldn't help it. The curiosity inside of me, wondering what I would sound like, wondering what they would think of my words, my technique, my everything, got the better of me.

Performing poetry/rhymes/stories is really putting yourself out there. And it does indeed take a lot of guts to do. It involves sharing your feelings, experiences and private emotions with people - sometimes strangers - who may not even get it. I'm not just saying this in order to give myself a pat on the back, but instead because of the physiological experiences I had while standing up there and realizing what I was about to do.

I am beyond glad that I actually showed up to the writers' group today. Knowing that we would be required to bring a piece to perform I did debate whether or not I should go. But then I thought to myself, it would be good to see others perform and learn from the critiques and supports. I don't necessarily have to perform. Either way I updated my notepad with three new pieces that I wrote up last night. And I knew which one of them I would perform if I got called up. So yes in some way I went prepared. I think this was my subconscious urge to just toss my words out into the open and see what people thought of it.

I hadn't practiced the piece at all, so I was nervous as to what it would sound like aloud and whether it would flow under pressure. Standing up there, bones shaking, clearly vibrating, I chose a voice and read my lines. It rhymed; it was fierce; it made sense; it wasn't juvenile; it was great (for my first performance of course).

There's no feeling like hearing that-ever-so-reaffirming "mmm hmm", the nod of agreeance, the creative literary society snaps, what's not to love?!!! Each one of those assisted in helping me continue my piece and is much appreciated. However more important than the external acknowledgement was the internal tensions and releases happening all at the same time. Every word was tense and fierce but created release on saying it.

"Performing was freeing. It was self-appreciative. It was a high. An addictive high. That I hope to indulge in very soon, over and over again."

Thank you Toronto Street Writers for helping me find the literary performer in me.

The forever looming 5-year plan

Another girls' night get-together...

Most female around their mid-20s mark start to think about the next 5 year stretch to 30. Then the list of things to be achieved begins:
- complete education
- find a job
- make said job a career
- move out/own a place
- make more friends
- find prince charming or figure out if current boyfriend is prince charming
- buy a car
- date prince charming
- find the perfect LBD
- get prince charming to propose
- get married
- start a family...
...and it goes on...
[See below for my strategies]

While each of the above goals is quite significant, having to accomplish the bunch of them in five years makes it quite the daunting challenge [enter quarter-life crisis]. Then there are those who feel that things will happen in due time and challenges should be taken one day at a time. No longer are women forced to be married and start a family by the age of 30. However due to a longstanding cultural convention to do so, it may always be an underlying thought.

The above list is by no means exhaustive nor does all of it need to be done as women find their own alternatives suitable to their own interests - such as being in a happily unmarried relationship.

Finding myself around one of these conversations and allowing my mind to wander got me thinking about my goals and whether or not I would accomplish them by their preferred timelines. While realizing that some of the goals may have already been acheived, there are some that may just require a whole other decade. What I realized it that the whole list isn't as important as the few items that are relevant for life in the here and the now. Prioritize! It truly is a life saver.

Afford yourself sometime to clearly think out your options and your current situation and proceed to make a list from there. Be honest about which of the above goals is the most meaningful to you and work that specific one. Seeing the next 5 years of life becomes a lot more 'deal-with-able' when turning a list of 20 to a list of three to five things. Once those first few priorities are accomplished the rest of the list may have changed ...or not. If not, re-evaluate and strategize. Put yourself in different circumstances/crowds/circles to allow yourself some varied perspectives [and experiences and people - you never know where today's prince charmings hide]. Also some level of trusting that the rest will fall into place is necessary. Also, never close doors that can be opportunities. As naive as that may sound it acutally helps focus on chosen goals and thereby ensures that at least those are achieved.

*Caution: Please close eyes, breathe deeply and VOW TO BE HONEST WITH YOURSELF before moving on further and reading the below recommendations.

Creative ways to deal with the 5 year loom:
- Avoid depressing factors: if you're easily jealous by people's 'good fortune' of trips, marriages, babies, birthdays, etc., avoid facebook or at least cut down on the amount of time you use the social media site.
- Engage and meet people: if you are indifferent to people's 'good fortune' then take to facebook and expand to twitter and tumblr and pinterest to engage in new conversations and feel more connected [check: feeling of making new friends]
- Confident and sexy: dress yourself in a way that makes you feel confident with a hint of sexy. Vow to wear at least one item everyday that makes you feel sexy, whether to work or elsewhere, do it! [check: feelings of confidence increases the ability to converse freely with women and men and creates opportunites for friends and maybe even new partners/charmers. Also feeling sexy surely must have links to staying and feeling young]
- DIY: DIY is in! Have a girls' night-in or date night-in but be creative to make it extra special and also save at the same time [check: increased savings that will hope to one day buy a car or move out/own a place]
- Know your interests: read something you're interested in. This will make you enjoy the book and the literary atmosphere thereby subtly urging you to finish school. Also if you are in a program that you enjoy, invovle yourself in the social elements and the practical elements of it in order to remind yourself why you love it so much. [check: complete education]
- Search your interests: find a field that interests and excites you, apply for jobs in that field. If you do not have the credentials to back you up, take a program, volunteer, intern, do something in that field. Network with people in that field. Do not give up on it! [check: finding a job and making said job a career]
- Open Communication: have a talk with him/her - your partner. Find out where they stand in the relationship and if they are on the same page. Open communication about initimate and important issues is important and can solve a lot of issues. If they are not willing to talk even after you've explained how important 'this' is - red flag. [check: getting married to partner/starting family - whatever that may mean to each of you]

Of course all of the above is just advice - easy to give hard to take. But what connects advice to reality is your attitude. Your attitude matters the most. If you want something, do not give up on it. But before that, realize what it is that you want and if it is a priority.

This post is of course just one way of juggling those forever looming 5 year plans, there are a ton more almost perfect for every situation.

What are your five year goals? and how are you dealing with accomplishing them?

Share, please.

Artwork: Homage to the Birds

Artwork: Homage to the Birds

Even in death some aren't free

Even in death some stay caged

Even in death I can't be me

Even in death I can't be saved

© chimerashinobi 2012

Homage to the Birds began by wanting to pay respects to those gone before us.
Recognizing that even in death some souls aren't able to rest as matters are not yet solved,
recognizing some souls that pass on without much recognition of their being here on Earth,
and recognizing the discomfort and guilt (caged feeling) of leaving without bidding adieu,
is how Homage to the Birds was created.

Nevertheless the cage in the artwork is represented by a basket as a reminder that there is always hope in sight and freedom is indeed acheivable.

Artwork done by your's truly, feedback is always welcome.

Putting Female in the Formula

*Warning: the male racing-enthusiast ego may slightly bruise on reading this article.

Formula North 2012 took place this past weekend - May 24 to May 27 - at the Barrie Molson Centre in Barrie, Ontario.

It was Canada's first-ever student engineering design competition. Spanning over 4 days, consisting of both static and dynamic events, the event promised to be quite intensive and exciting.

While around 20 teams participated at Formula North 2012 bringing about 5 to 15 members each, mostly male, it was interesting to see that the executive staff and the event organizers of Formula North were mostly female.

Formula North 2012 was successfully run by a team mainly led by females who were all under the age of 25. 

Engineering has long been perceived as a male-dominated field not to mention the macho atmosphere at most motorsport competitions. Formula North Inc. has acknowledged this issue in one of their interviews with Samantha Kurcsis, blogger at Girls Like F1 too (www.girlslikef1too.com). The interview (which can be found at www.formulanorth.com) speaks about how challenging it can be for a female in the F1 industry but also shows that there is a growing number of females interested in automotives and motorsports.

Formula North 2012 incorporated females in a variety of roles at their first annual competition. From the chair of the entire event, Cathy D'Souza, to the technical inspector, Simren Gill, right down to the drivers for some competing teams - females ran the show. It was therefore not a surprise when the organizers were told from participants, audience members and even judges how impressive it was to see so many females involved in such a thought-to-be male dominated industry.

Attendees at the event, along with volunteers were pleasantly surprised to see some of the teams having chosen a female driver who was comfortable driving an F1 style open cockpit car.

This surprise shows that there still does exist some sort of gender division of labour even in today's 21st century, but the fact that it was pleasantly received can be appreciated.

This initiative was the epitome of a grassroots event, showing that small ideas can indeed lead to a successful 4 day long event and make quite the impression on the audience. Formula North 2012 showed that females in the engineering industry do indeed know a thing or two (times a thousand) about the industry.

It can only be hoped that such an event like Formula North, while showcasing Canadian ability to host an engineering design competition also showcased the growing number of women in the F1, automotive and motorsport industry as actual active participants and not just behind the scenes showgirls, continues to grow.

A huge congratulations goes to the Event Chair and the organizers involved in making the success of Formula North 2012.

For more information on Formula North: 
Website: www.formulanorth.com
Twitter: @FormulaNorth #FN2012
Facebook: Formula North