Speed Dating: Awkward or Artful

Given my incessant need to go out and try new things, the idea of speed dating came up and garnered some curiosity.

Who goes to speed dating?
Does it still exist?
What do you say there?
Do you actually meet people?
Are they weird?
What's wrong with them?
What do you wear?

These are just some of the questions that I had before I stepped on site. Get ready for the series of blogposts on the deed, Speeding Dating Series. Keep in mind that not everyone's experience is the same and my opinions and experiences are by no measure exclusive of all such experiences.

Here's my take: Speed dating is that conversation you have at a bar/club/lounge when the music stops blaring for a couple minutes. The only difference being the lack of the awkward number exchange.

Speed dating highlighted the awkwardness that still somewhat exists today regarding the "can I call you sometime?" process.

When you're at a bar/club/lounge and a stunner approaches you to dance/talk/drink and you engage with said person, what happens when they leave without asking you for your number? Awkward.

Then you can be talking to individuals whom you have no interest in exchanging numbers with - how do you say no to them? or that you'd just like to be friends? Awkward.

Getting someone to ask you for your number? Awkward.

Asking someone for their number? Awkward.

Ok fine these situations are not all that awkward for the socially apt, but even we sometimes get tired of manoeuvring the game.

Bear in mind it can still be awkward when you receive an email from a speed dating company saying that you have no matches (meaning no one whom you had an interest in felt the same about you) but offering you a free session.

But for the most part speed dating eliminates that awkwardness. If you're clicking with someone whom you just feel like flirting with but not pursuing - no problem. If you're smiling politely at someone who is beyond interested in you and you know that friendship is nowhere in sight - no problem. If you can't stand the arrogant person and three minutes seems like three hours - no problem. If s/he is coming on too strong, planning your wedding china - no problem. You never have to give your number a.k.a you never have to check 'yes'. And hopefully you never run into them.

One of the patrons tonight said, "it's less intense and nerve-wrecking than the bar scene where girls are defensive and have their guard up because they just get guys hitting on them and think that all guys just want one thing." "Atleast here everyone's friendly and willing to talk to you for a bit." People did seem much more polite at speed dating and even if uninterested they do give you a couple minutes of their time instead of brushing you away (thereby easing the shut-down impact). Girls who would've probably never given certain guys the time of day and vice-versa actually ended up having a conversation.

Of course, regarding the awkwardness at a bar/club/lounge a simple "no, sorry I'm not interested" or "can I call you sometime?" could be said, but let's be real it isn't always so simple. Sometimes people get nervous, sometimes you're out of your league, sometimes you just don't feel like being rude, and sometimes we/they just can't take a hint (no matter how many times you touch his arm or place your arm on her waist).

So say what you may about speed dating and think what you want about it but it does do something to eliminate the sometimes awkward "let's link up" "can I call you" "call me, maybe" "digits please" etc., process.

Not sure if I'll be a serial speed dater but it was a fun experience and a great way to network with people whom you may not usually meet (in addition to providing me with tons of material for several blogposts to come). It's definitely something to try at least once.

Next in the Speeding Dating Series:
Speed Dating: A New High or Low
Speed Dating: Who, Why & Wear
Speed Dating: Do's & Don'ts

Pumpkin Carving Dishes on Personality

"An artistic and bond-building hoopla."

This year the challenge was to carve a pumpkin that represented you/your personality. The results were quite revealing. The Beckhams carved out pumpkin faces which imitated their own. 

And here's some of the expertise of the local royalty kind. 

Bucktoothed jolly angel. Angry evil count. Sass. Smiling twins.

 

Personalities Revealed:
Bucktoothed jolly angel: A self-proclaimed tinkerbell.
Angry evil count: An smart ass with a persistent need to play defensive. 
Sass: A forsaken self-affirmed charmer.
Smiling twins: Long time partners with hearts of gold (no matter how scary they try to be).

Personality is reflected even in the most mundane things that we do. What did your costume or pumpkin carving reveal about you?

The Fright Night Pumpkin Carving Kit ($2) makes pumpkin carving for kids, newbies, oldies and anyone interested in it an absolute breeze. Happy Halloween. 364 days to go ;)

 

Dinner for One

This past weekend was Thanksgiving weekend. It is a time during which families and friends get together and traditions and routines are put on display. This is especially hard on a newly single person. Being in a relationship for a prolonged period of time brings a partner into one’s home and makes room for them at the table, leaving a gaping empty spot in what used to be their place when they are gone. Whether it was a happy or hurtful break up, the holidays tend to bring up some unwanted memories. You cannot help but remember them sitting at the table, smirking at you due to an inside joke, conversing with your friends and family and just being there confirming the holiday warmth. Therefore it is only natural that the holidays can be a nightmarish ordeal for the newly single, recently dumped, freshly freed, etc.

Some ways to cope:

Ensure that your immediate family and close friends are aware of your new status so that they can become your diversion force. They can scatter themselves around the table thereby occupying the seat beside you/wherever your significant other sat. They can help deflect conversations about your relationship status and quickly change topics with nosy extended family members. But most importantly they can be your reminder of the positivity in your life. Of course it would be great if family and friends knew to do this already but sometimes they may need a gentle reminder that you may still be hurting/healing. These four to five individuals who are devoid of judging you can help ease your unattached status into the holiday parties and mood.

Take a breather if you need one. There’s no point overdoing a positive appearance if you do not feel like it. Take a moment and excuse yourself to the washroom, take a couple of deep breaths, realize that you are accepting the reality that is yours and not denying it, be thankful for the support that you have around you and then exit back to the festivities. Allow yourself to be distracted with the celebrations, you deserve it.

Wear something daring that puts you in good spirits and in a way allows you to focus on on something else. Pulling off a new outfit or something different gives you something else to concentrate on and is especially great because it is something that you are doing for yourself. Daring does not mean provocative, it means an outfit that you've been wanting to try out but wondered if you could ever pull off - this is subjective (check out upcoming post on the maxi dare).

Try to involve yourself in the preparations and the conversations.
I know that there are some times when we would rather be curled up in bed rather than out with people, but a newly single individual gets enough alone time and needs to maximize the opportunities to be around people. It may suck to explain your situation but the more people you are comfortable telling, the more you come to accept it and deal with it.

Happy healing :)

Pilgrim Party on My Arm

"It's a new way to make religion and spirituality both personal and unique."

One thing I did not expect to find on a pilgrimage was arm candy. Religious arm candy is increasingly available especially in the trendiest forms - pull ties, chain links, elastic strings, rubber bands, loops, hole ties and splitters. It's a new way to make religion and spirituality both personal and unique. While quite fashionable some of these pieces have the added benefit of the cultural or spiritual meaning of the symbols within them, thereby becoming quite the souvenir that would actually get used/worn (*upcoming post on useful versus useless souvenirs). 

Religious arm candy: bracelets that have a spiritual meaning within them, fashioned in a trendy way.

Check out a map of the pilgrimage party on my arm:

Starting from the right - Israel & Palestine, France, Spain and Portugal.

Here are some of my favourites:
Pilgrim Arrow: this arrow acts as a sign to pilgrims on the Camino to indicate the route they can follow to an information centre or a check-in site or a sacred site.

Jerusalem Cross: the Jerusalem cross is large Greek cross accompanied by four smaller Greek crosses at each corner. The cross symbolizing the crucifixion. The four smaller crosses are said to represent the four books of the Gospels and the four directions in which Christianity spread.  









Lourdes Ring: the ring and elasticised band of Lourdes is a plate with all the symbols of the Lourdes shrine and grotto. With a mint green elastic band, the bracelet has religious meaning with a sense of fashion. 

Lourdes Rubber Band: similar to the coloured bands that signify a cause the Lourdes band signfies  the place where the person was prayed for.

Santiago Shell: a stringed bracelet with a shell charm is quite the simple bracelet but has some very cool significance. The shell symbolizes the object that pilgrim use to drink water - a kind of cup, if you may. Also the shell signifies the many tribes coming together - the fan - and also the idea of from one starting point people fan out to the many areas.

"From one come many"

"The many coming to one"

Eiffel Tower: no real surprising story here as everyone knows the Eiffel tower, the great pylon, the  symbol of the centennial of the French Revolution. And the tower has comes to symbolize Paris, known as the city of love. The bracelet makes quite the souvenir from Paris, the pretty arm candy with the braided band and the lilac blinged out Eiffel Tower, don't you think?

So there's the pilgrim party on my arm. 23 bracelets in 17 days! Which bracelet is your favourite and which do you think has the coolest story behind it?

 

 

Lookbook: Pilgrim Swag

"The scarf - a pilgrim fashion item."

The brief hiatus has been due to a recent pilgrimage that I took to Israel and Palestine including stops in Paris, Lourdes, Covadonga, Fatima, Porto and Lisbon. While there will be a ton of posts on different elements of the experience, it seemed fitting for a extra lookbook post special on summer fashion - the pilgrim swag.

A common and necessary piece of pilgrim clothing is the scarf. Appropriately lightweight for the hot weather conditions and a convenient cover-up at sacred sites, the scarf was a neccesary fashion accessory. Also while fashion may not be the first, second or third thing that comes to mind when thinking about a pilgrimage, clothing is indeed something that pilgrims need to give thought to in order to ensure that they are appropriately dressed.

Urban Pilgrim
Low-rise loosely fitted denim print capri with a solid tank and striped scarf

Forever 21 coral tank

Urban Streetwear denim print capri

Korean Boutique wrap Zippered Sandal

Ardene striped Scarf

Forever 21 beige retro Sunglasses

The capri was loose and lightweight and not thick heavy denim while still sporting a denim print. Being a capri - you get the benefit and comfort of a pant and the breezy feel of shorts. Capris are a good go-to item as they fall to the right length - below the knee - for a pilgrimage. Pairing the capris with a bright solid tank kept the outfit summery and fun. A looser or fitted tank could be worn depending on personal preference. For the weather conditions a looser tank might be more comfortable. Finishing the outfit with a pair of black wrap up sandals, retro nude/beige sunglasses and a scarf really brought the pilgrim swag alive. Using a scarf that is long enough to wear as a head scarf/band and still drape down your back or over your shoulders, creates a more dynamic appearance. Furthermore it also acts as a light throw when you need to cover up your shoulders. This particular scarf complimented colour-wise with the tank and the capri.

Desert Pilgrim: Bethany Romper
Tube printed romper with solid crop top and printed scarf

HnM crop top with zippered back

Bethany Boutique romper

Korean Boutique wrap zippered sandal

Aldo grey satchel

Ardene printed scarf

Assorted arm party collected from boutiques in Jerusalem and Lourdes

This romper was purchased in the town of Bethany. The material is 100% cotton and is some of the softest material I've ever felt. Loose fitting and lightweight it was appropriate for the long and hot days. Pairing it with a solid cap sleeved crop top provides appropriate cover up for the sacred sites. The black solid top balanced out the colours in the outfit as the pant was beige and had a busy print. Here too, finishing the outfit with a pair of wrap up black sandals, retro nude/beige sunglasses and a printed scarf completed the pilgrim look. The scarf chosen for this outfit attempted to bring out some of the colours in the romper. Also the scarf here was worn loosely around the neck, tied at the side with one edge draped on the front left side and the other over the back on the left side.

Boho Pilgrim: Syrian Pants
Printed overized pants with solid crop top and aztec printed scarf

 

HnM crop top with zippered back

Bethany Boutique Syrian pant

Korean Boutique wrap zippered sandal

Forever 21 beige retro sunglasses

Ardene Aztec print scarf

The oversized pants were also purchased from a vendor in Bethany. They seem to be quite popular at all locations visited in the past month. Again the loose fit and the lightweight feel were appropriate for the weather and the choice of capri length or full length pant allowed the outfit to be in line with sacred site standards. It also made it appropriate for the hot days and the cooler nights. Syrian pants - as some shopkeepers called them - have an elasticized band at the ankle which can be used to wear the pant as a capri or at it's full length. Paired with a solid black crop top to create a simplistic and sombre look. The outfit was finished with black wrap sandals, retro nude/beige sunglasses and printed scarf worn as a head band knotted to the side. The scarf chosen was a blue aztec printed scarf to add a burst of colour ibut still n a sober manner.

What do you think of pilgrim swag? Which outfit would you rock outside of a pilgrimage?

Lookbook: Summer Dress Fever

Photo & Model Credit: @naomicamrey
Urban Outfitters Dress - Pink Suede

Necklace

Rooftop Wedge Sandal

Bag


A new take on dresses this summer is the long-tailed back drop effect. What is more interesting though is that this tailed-back can be knotted and left to hang in the back at the middle or side. Definitely a different look and feel. The knotted back is great if you are at a standing social but unsure as to how it would feel when walking around or even dancing. The wedges are claimed to be the most comfy pair of shoes and can easily take on a right hour work day, followed by a two hour dinner date and a late night club rendezvous - tried and tested and passed with flying colours. The necklace adds an appropriate bohemian look, espcially since it drops far below the neckline. The mini cross-body bag with a drawstring closure gives the outfit a vintage feel due to the colour and also provides the wearer with ample space to store their necessary belongings while maintaining a cute chic appearance.

Photo & Model Credit: @pands_d

HnM Dress

Ardene Belt

SpeedLimit Nude Strapped Pump

Boutique Ring (Hong Kong)

This outfit is a good example of summer time dresses gone chic. Take a flowy/ruffled dress add a thin belt and you've a chic-er than before outfit. Pair it with sky-high pump to amplify the sliming appearance. The outfit could take a slightly different look if paired with a thicker belt, possibly making it less dressed up and instead more laid-back. Try it out with different belts and sound off with images in the comments section.

 

HnM Neon Summer Dress

Coach Wristlet

Boutique Bracelet

Ardene Beige Pump

The colours in this dress were to die for. Neon is in on so many levels this summer and while it usually doesn't seem formal if neon, this and the next dress prove neon can indeed be chic. The palm leaf effect along with the neon coloured print definitely make this a summer dress. The simplicity of the cut allowed it not to go overboard. Pairing it with a brown/beige clutch and shoes seemed to offer a great summery and playful alternative to black accessories. Apologies for the lack of an image of the shoes. Available on request.

HnM Neon Zippered Back Cap-Sleeve Dress

Boutique Drop Earrings (Japan)

Forever 21 Wrist Wrap Bracelet

SpeedLimit Nude Strapped Pump

By far one of the sexiest and mature dresses I've seen this summer! Worn for a 25th birthday this dress makes a statement of grown, sexy and yet fun. The simple cut sits in the most flattering of ways accentuating the front side, back side and the arms! What dress helps to accentuate arms?!!! The oversized metallic zippered back makes the dress well fitting and adds much appeal to the back, in addition to the scooped backline (adds to the sexy factor). The fabric is stretch and breathable. Therefore the dress is actually comfortable. The detail in the sleeves adds to the formal look and makes a more mature statement than a tube, thin straps or even thick straps would have. The mini-cap sleeves added to the formality, in my opinion. The pairing of the dress with strapped nude pumps elongated the legs and definitely contributes to a slimmer appearance. The wrist wrap and watch seemed appropriate accessories in trying not to over indulge and maintain the chic of the outfit. Lastly, pairing it with uber-long earring instead of studs and a necklace allowed for the face and neckline to be highlighted without the use of a necklace (which may have drawn too much attention to the neckline). Remember sexy yet chic.

Summer Dress Fever: Let us know which one's your favourite and different ways you would wear it or accessorize it!

Do's and Don'ts of Caribana

Caribana* can be a fun weekend to experience the carnival culture.

Expect a lot of skin and colourful costumes with a lot of whining.

Don't be afraid to dance, smile and have a little fun.

Fashion Trends
The usual: Skin
                   Carnival colours
                   Feathers, feathers and feathers
                   Short shorts (batty riders)
                   Caribbean flags
The year:  NEON
                   High-waisted shorts
                   Bandeaus
               
Do's
Wear close-toed shoes - flat shoes
Hydrate
Have fun - experience the vibes and culture (don't go in with expectations instead go with an open mind)
Clothe yourself appropriately - what does that mean? - Be comfortable. Don't flaunt it if you don't want it (attention). Dress for summer, ready to sweat and get dirty. Don't be afraid of a little water, your own or others.
Dance
Make friends

Don't
Wear heels!
Carry large bags - avoid security hassles/concerns, the inconvenience of large purses and the possible loss of bags is just not an enjoyable experience during a fun crowded parade
Cross lines that you're not comfortable crossing - if unfamiliar with the parade stay at the lines and do not jump fences
Persist if she resists - don't take it personal: a dance is just a dance whether 1 song or 5 songs
Take it personal - personal space is rare during such a parade, understand that and let the bumps and body checks go
Drive - take a cab or public transportation
Get in the way of the floats - you will get knocked over or at least receive cheups alongside a dirty look

Feel free to add more Do's and Don'ts of your Caribana experience. And if you're a newbie to Caribana this year, share your experience on the event and your choices on what to wear and what not to wear ;)

 **Have fun**Jump and Wave**Make some friends**

 *Yes, I know Caribana goes by a new name now, but it will always be Caribana to me