Forever 21 stands true to its name: Juvenile

Dear Forever 21,

 

I love your style but your online service gets me riled.

 

Xoxo,

A saddened customer

**BEWARE IF MAKING AN ONLINE PURCHASE ABOVE $60 CAD.**

Established in 1984 you’d expect Forever 21 to function like a legitimate company. While it’s in-store service is satisfactory, the online experience is a nightmare.

The company’s online section functions akin to a juvenile with the feel of a hoax.

Here’s the story:

Placed an order for 32 items for a total of $250. Received an order confirmation email. Notified that the items would be delivered in 5-10 business days. Tracked the order on day #4 when a friend stated that she received her $60 order. Status of order was ‘New’. Nothing changed on day #5. On day #7 I decided to check the status only to see that it was cancelled. Called customer service. Was tld that the order couldn’t not be verified even though they themselves couldn't see a problem and noted that the order had been confirmed. Stated that they tried to send a need-to-verify email but saw an error. Admitted that they did not try to resend the email nor find a different way to contact us. They cancelled the order. They offered free expedited shipping on the next order, apologized that the desired merchandise nor the promotion did not existed any longer. Supervisor, Joseph M. stated that he would, “make a note of the problem and forward it to the IT department”. I won’t be holding my breath.

Tip: Don’t wait patiently. Call them on day #2 whether or not you’ve heard from them.

After the call, things still didn’t feel right with me because customer service really didn’t fix anything. No compensation. No order retrieval. No credit note. Nothing.  Who cares for free expedited shipping when you’re already getting free standard shipping and willing to wait another five days for what you can only imagine will feel like Christmas in a box.

On researching if others had similar experiences with the company, I found that most people complaining had placed an order for merchandise totalling above $200. Check it out here and here.

Let me be clear that this store is actually one of my favourites so it’s not hard to order items and go past $100. (Being one of my favourite stores is what made this experience all the more irritating – because I really liked the merchandise that I was foolishly waiting for. They should really have a loyalty section). Furthermore customers on forums reported being asked to take pictures of their credit cards, fax copies of cards, etc. (see above links) Given my fair bit of experience in online shopping, asking someone to send over copies of cards to verify accounts does sound suspicious. There are other more legitimate and grown up ways to verify an account – call a person, secret banking questions, pins, actually sending an email and making sure that it goes through, etc. My current experience didn’t get to the ‘take a picture of your card and email it to us’ level but I agree that it sounds “sketchy” and would not be the way that a legitimate company should handle the verification process.

So lessons of the evening:

#1. If you like Forever 21 merchandise, make your purchases in-store

#2. If shopping online, keep your orders under $70 (and cross fingers for a smooth transaction)

#3. Find a Forever 21 replacement store, at least in the online realm (hardest lesson of the night :’( )

Going back to online shopping at Forever 21 is going to feel like returning to a boyfriend that has wronged me. A little extreme? Forgive me, I get attached to my clothing and shopping is my therapy.

DID YOU KNOW:

Forever 21 is family run business?

Forever 21 has a citation of a bible verse on the bottom of its bags?

Speed Dating: Who, Why & Wear

There’s music playing in the background. Twenty-five tiny tables are lined along the lounge. A place card sits on each table. Romantic lighting, of the candle-light-flicker variety, illuminates the supper club. A woman sits at each of the tables while the males are huddled by the bar. They seem more relaxed with a drink in hand compared to the women who sit nervously in solitude at their own tables. The bell rings and the men scatter to find the table with the place card to which they’ve been assigned. At once the music gets blocked out as twenty-five conversations fill the space, all among strangers who now have 2.59 minutes to earn a checkmark under YES.

 

Image courtesy of 49st. A speed dating event
squeezes in an additional line of tables
in the aisle and eliminates all dinnerware.

Who?

Upon returning from the event, the first question asked was “were there any normal people?” and “who goes to these things?” This got me thinking about what exactly was “normal” and who defined it?

 

Female attendees: Most women were 30 years old and above with five being under 27. The age brackets for the event were 25-35. Most were looking to meet someone. Some women mentioned that they were nervous about what to say in their three minutes and others were looking for something different to do on a Thursday night.

 

Male attendees: Many were in the IT field. Surprisingly, most were able to engage in a conversation. I had expected nervous and fidgety men, I guess. They weren’t creepy, except for Mr. I-Can’t-Make-Eye-Contact-Ever, Mr. SmirksALot who seemed to wink at everything and Mr. JobInterview.

 

I tried to ask out-of-the-ordinary questions and most of the conversations seemed like casual bar talk - without the spark but still friendly. (Too fast-paced to flirt? Too time-pressured to flirt? Not the environment for a love at first sight feel? All to be discussed in Matched... now what?) Most of the male attendees seemed evenly divided by first timers and repeat daters. The repeat daters admitted that they couldn’t do this every week because it was exhausting to meet so many people in a fast-paced environment. One patron said he didn’t “remember the first five girls and forgot to write anything down”. It was indeed an effort to remember the first few after the fourth or fifth person, causing my note-taking to become more frequent. People do tend to blur after a while.

 

All in all, the gender dynamic seemed to play in this manner: Men had the opportunity to talk to women whom they would have otherwise been too intimidated to talk to. Women conversed with men whom they might have previously never given the time of day.

Why?

Most of the men stated that they were there to meet people. Some used the euphemistic phrase of “meet new friends” and later stated that they were “looking to date” and “find someone”. Most of the guys mentioned that they wanted to date but said that they were open to meeting new people and “taking it from there”, to “see where it goes”. There was a lot of groupon love that night as almost everyone whom I met had used the groupon offer for a half off price.

 

Outside of speed dating and in conversations will male friends and acquaintances, when asked about their opinions on speed dating many felt that it would be a great place for men to hook up based on the assumption that the women attending are actually looking for male companionship. Of course not all men are looking to hook up and only in conversing with them after the match is made can you find out more about their intentions and the potential of the contact.

Interesting reasons:

“I just got out of a messy relationship where I broke it off with my fiancée.”

“I lost a bet with a friend and so she made me come to this speed dating event.”

“I’m trying to get out there again because your social circle shrinks when you get older.” (great point; future blog post on this ;)

“I’m here to support my friend who is trying to meet new people and get out there.”

“I’m trying to get out there and meet new people because I’m not going to meet someone while watching tv at home.”

Why did I go? To satisfy the curiosity of speed dating in each one of you reading this post right now.

 

Wear?
Most of these events try to inform you with ideas on what to wear. For example they tell you to dress like what you would wear on a date or maybe when out for cocktails with friends.

 

Well the men definitely dressed as if they were on a date. They were fairly well dressed, many in blazers or dress shirts and trousers.

 

The women were well dressed too, but definitely not as if on a date. I can’t help but feel that each one of the women that night would have been more dressed up if they were on a one-on-one personal date. They were in pants or jeans and blouses or knit cardigans, some in sweater dresses and stockings. This is understandable as women at a speed dating event who dress too provocatively may give off the wrong signal and garner too much attention for the wrong reasons. This would cause you to contemplate the reason as to why you have 25 matches – was it your conversation or cleavage? Women were dressed modestly, probably saving their flare for the real date.

 

What did I wear? Leather jacket, black and white sweater dress with boots and a statement necklace. Chic.

 

Next up in the series:

Do's and Don'ts of Speed Dating

Matched... now what?

Speed Dating: Awkward or Artful

Given my incessant need to go out and try new things, the idea of speed dating came up and garnered some curiosity.

Who goes to speed dating?
Does it still exist?
What do you say there?
Do you actually meet people?
Are they weird?
What's wrong with them?
What do you wear?

These are just some of the questions that I had before I stepped on site. Get ready for the series of blogposts on the deed, Speeding Dating Series. Keep in mind that not everyone's experience is the same and my opinions and experiences are by no measure exclusive of all such experiences.

Here's my take: Speed dating is that conversation you have at a bar/club/lounge when the music stops blaring for a couple minutes. The only difference being the lack of the awkward number exchange.

Speed dating highlighted the awkwardness that still somewhat exists today regarding the "can I call you sometime?" process.

When you're at a bar/club/lounge and a stunner approaches you to dance/talk/drink and you engage with said person, what happens when they leave without asking you for your number? Awkward.

Then you can be talking to individuals whom you have no interest in exchanging numbers with - how do you say no to them? or that you'd just like to be friends? Awkward.

Getting someone to ask you for your number? Awkward.

Asking someone for their number? Awkward.

Ok fine these situations are not all that awkward for the socially apt, but even we sometimes get tired of manoeuvring the game.

Bear in mind it can still be awkward when you receive an email from a speed dating company saying that you have no matches (meaning no one whom you had an interest in felt the same about you) but offering you a free session.

But for the most part speed dating eliminates that awkwardness. If you're clicking with someone whom you just feel like flirting with but not pursuing - no problem. If you're smiling politely at someone who is beyond interested in you and you know that friendship is nowhere in sight - no problem. If you can't stand the arrogant person and three minutes seems like three hours - no problem. If s/he is coming on too strong, planning your wedding china - no problem. You never have to give your number a.k.a you never have to check 'yes'. And hopefully you never run into them.

One of the patrons tonight said, "it's less intense and nerve-wrecking than the bar scene where girls are defensive and have their guard up because they just get guys hitting on them and think that all guys just want one thing." "Atleast here everyone's friendly and willing to talk to you for a bit." People did seem much more polite at speed dating and even if uninterested they do give you a couple minutes of their time instead of brushing you away (thereby easing the shut-down impact). Girls who would've probably never given certain guys the time of day and vice-versa actually ended up having a conversation.

Of course, regarding the awkwardness at a bar/club/lounge a simple "no, sorry I'm not interested" or "can I call you sometime?" could be said, but let's be real it isn't always so simple. Sometimes people get nervous, sometimes you're out of your league, sometimes you just don't feel like being rude, and sometimes we/they just can't take a hint (no matter how many times you touch his arm or place your arm on her waist).

So say what you may about speed dating and think what you want about it but it does do something to eliminate the sometimes awkward "let's link up" "can I call you" "call me, maybe" "digits please" etc., process.

Not sure if I'll be a serial speed dater but it was a fun experience and a great way to network with people whom you may not usually meet (in addition to providing me with tons of material for several blogposts to come). It's definitely something to try at least once.

Next in the Speeding Dating Series:
Speed Dating: A New High or Low
Speed Dating: Who, Why & Wear
Speed Dating: Do's & Don'ts

Pumpkin Carving Dishes on Personality

"An artistic and bond-building hoopla."

This year the challenge was to carve a pumpkin that represented you/your personality. The results were quite revealing. The Beckhams carved out pumpkin faces which imitated their own. 

And here's some of the expertise of the local royalty kind. 

Bucktoothed jolly angel. Angry evil count. Sass. Smiling twins.

 

Personalities Revealed:
Bucktoothed jolly angel: A self-proclaimed tinkerbell.
Angry evil count: An smart ass with a persistent need to play defensive. 
Sass: A forsaken self-affirmed charmer.
Smiling twins: Long time partners with hearts of gold (no matter how scary they try to be).

Personality is reflected even in the most mundane things that we do. What did your costume or pumpkin carving reveal about you?

The Fright Night Pumpkin Carving Kit ($2) makes pumpkin carving for kids, newbies, oldies and anyone interested in it an absolute breeze. Happy Halloween. 364 days to go ;)

 

Dinner for One

This past weekend was Thanksgiving weekend. It is a time during which families and friends get together and traditions and routines are put on display. This is especially hard on a newly single person. Being in a relationship for a prolonged period of time brings a partner into one’s home and makes room for them at the table, leaving a gaping empty spot in what used to be their place when they are gone. Whether it was a happy or hurtful break up, the holidays tend to bring up some unwanted memories. You cannot help but remember them sitting at the table, smirking at you due to an inside joke, conversing with your friends and family and just being there confirming the holiday warmth. Therefore it is only natural that the holidays can be a nightmarish ordeal for the newly single, recently dumped, freshly freed, etc.

Some ways to cope:

Ensure that your immediate family and close friends are aware of your new status so that they can become your diversion force. They can scatter themselves around the table thereby occupying the seat beside you/wherever your significant other sat. They can help deflect conversations about your relationship status and quickly change topics with nosy extended family members. But most importantly they can be your reminder of the positivity in your life. Of course it would be great if family and friends knew to do this already but sometimes they may need a gentle reminder that you may still be hurting/healing. These four to five individuals who are devoid of judging you can help ease your unattached status into the holiday parties and mood.

Take a breather if you need one. There’s no point overdoing a positive appearance if you do not feel like it. Take a moment and excuse yourself to the washroom, take a couple of deep breaths, realize that you are accepting the reality that is yours and not denying it, be thankful for the support that you have around you and then exit back to the festivities. Allow yourself to be distracted with the celebrations, you deserve it.

Wear something daring that puts you in good spirits and in a way allows you to focus on on something else. Pulling off a new outfit or something different gives you something else to concentrate on and is especially great because it is something that you are doing for yourself. Daring does not mean provocative, it means an outfit that you've been wanting to try out but wondered if you could ever pull off - this is subjective (check out upcoming post on the maxi dare).

Try to involve yourself in the preparations and the conversations.
I know that there are some times when we would rather be curled up in bed rather than out with people, but a newly single individual gets enough alone time and needs to maximize the opportunities to be around people. It may suck to explain your situation but the more people you are comfortable telling, the more you come to accept it and deal with it.

Happy healing :)

Pilgrim Party on My Arm

"It's a new way to make religion and spirituality both personal and unique."

One thing I did not expect to find on a pilgrimage was arm candy. Religious arm candy is increasingly available especially in the trendiest forms - pull ties, chain links, elastic strings, rubber bands, loops, hole ties and splitters. It's a new way to make religion and spirituality both personal and unique. While quite fashionable some of these pieces have the added benefit of the cultural or spiritual meaning of the symbols within them, thereby becoming quite the souvenir that would actually get used/worn (*upcoming post on useful versus useless souvenirs). 

Religious arm candy: bracelets that have a spiritual meaning within them, fashioned in a trendy way.

Check out a map of the pilgrimage party on my arm:

Starting from the right - Israel & Palestine, France, Spain and Portugal.

Here are some of my favourites:
Pilgrim Arrow: this arrow acts as a sign to pilgrims on the Camino to indicate the route they can follow to an information centre or a check-in site or a sacred site.

Jerusalem Cross: the Jerusalem cross is large Greek cross accompanied by four smaller Greek crosses at each corner. The cross symbolizing the crucifixion. The four smaller crosses are said to represent the four books of the Gospels and the four directions in which Christianity spread.  









Lourdes Ring: the ring and elasticised band of Lourdes is a plate with all the symbols of the Lourdes shrine and grotto. With a mint green elastic band, the bracelet has religious meaning with a sense of fashion. 

Lourdes Rubber Band: similar to the coloured bands that signify a cause the Lourdes band signfies  the place where the person was prayed for.

Santiago Shell: a stringed bracelet with a shell charm is quite the simple bracelet but has some very cool significance. The shell symbolizes the object that pilgrim use to drink water - a kind of cup, if you may. Also the shell signifies the many tribes coming together - the fan - and also the idea of from one starting point people fan out to the many areas.

"From one come many"

"The many coming to one"

Eiffel Tower: no real surprising story here as everyone knows the Eiffel tower, the great pylon, the  symbol of the centennial of the French Revolution. And the tower has comes to symbolize Paris, known as the city of love. The bracelet makes quite the souvenir from Paris, the pretty arm candy with the braided band and the lilac blinged out Eiffel Tower, don't you think?

So there's the pilgrim party on my arm. 23 bracelets in 17 days! Which bracelet is your favourite and which do you think has the coolest story behind it?

 

 

Lookbook: Pilgrim Swag

"The scarf - a pilgrim fashion item."

The brief hiatus has been due to a recent pilgrimage that I took to Israel and Palestine including stops in Paris, Lourdes, Covadonga, Fatima, Porto and Lisbon. While there will be a ton of posts on different elements of the experience, it seemed fitting for a extra lookbook post special on summer fashion - the pilgrim swag.

A common and necessary piece of pilgrim clothing is the scarf. Appropriately lightweight for the hot weather conditions and a convenient cover-up at sacred sites, the scarf was a neccesary fashion accessory. Also while fashion may not be the first, second or third thing that comes to mind when thinking about a pilgrimage, clothing is indeed something that pilgrims need to give thought to in order to ensure that they are appropriately dressed.

Urban Pilgrim
Low-rise loosely fitted denim print capri with a solid tank and striped scarf

Forever 21 coral tank

Urban Streetwear denim print capri

Korean Boutique wrap Zippered Sandal

Ardene striped Scarf

Forever 21 beige retro Sunglasses

The capri was loose and lightweight and not thick heavy denim while still sporting a denim print. Being a capri - you get the benefit and comfort of a pant and the breezy feel of shorts. Capris are a good go-to item as they fall to the right length - below the knee - for a pilgrimage. Pairing the capris with a bright solid tank kept the outfit summery and fun. A looser or fitted tank could be worn depending on personal preference. For the weather conditions a looser tank might be more comfortable. Finishing the outfit with a pair of black wrap up sandals, retro nude/beige sunglasses and a scarf really brought the pilgrim swag alive. Using a scarf that is long enough to wear as a head scarf/band and still drape down your back or over your shoulders, creates a more dynamic appearance. Furthermore it also acts as a light throw when you need to cover up your shoulders. This particular scarf complimented colour-wise with the tank and the capri.

Desert Pilgrim: Bethany Romper
Tube printed romper with solid crop top and printed scarf

HnM crop top with zippered back

Bethany Boutique romper

Korean Boutique wrap zippered sandal

Aldo grey satchel

Ardene printed scarf

Assorted arm party collected from boutiques in Jerusalem and Lourdes

This romper was purchased in the town of Bethany. The material is 100% cotton and is some of the softest material I've ever felt. Loose fitting and lightweight it was appropriate for the long and hot days. Pairing it with a solid cap sleeved crop top provides appropriate cover up for the sacred sites. The black solid top balanced out the colours in the outfit as the pant was beige and had a busy print. Here too, finishing the outfit with a pair of wrap up black sandals, retro nude/beige sunglasses and a printed scarf completed the pilgrim look. The scarf chosen for this outfit attempted to bring out some of the colours in the romper. Also the scarf here was worn loosely around the neck, tied at the side with one edge draped on the front left side and the other over the back on the left side.

Boho Pilgrim: Syrian Pants
Printed overized pants with solid crop top and aztec printed scarf

 

HnM crop top with zippered back

Bethany Boutique Syrian pant

Korean Boutique wrap zippered sandal

Forever 21 beige retro sunglasses

Ardene Aztec print scarf

The oversized pants were also purchased from a vendor in Bethany. They seem to be quite popular at all locations visited in the past month. Again the loose fit and the lightweight feel were appropriate for the weather and the choice of capri length or full length pant allowed the outfit to be in line with sacred site standards. It also made it appropriate for the hot days and the cooler nights. Syrian pants - as some shopkeepers called them - have an elasticized band at the ankle which can be used to wear the pant as a capri or at it's full length. Paired with a solid black crop top to create a simplistic and sombre look. The outfit was finished with black wrap sandals, retro nude/beige sunglasses and printed scarf worn as a head band knotted to the side. The scarf chosen was a blue aztec printed scarf to add a burst of colour ibut still n a sober manner.

What do you think of pilgrim swag? Which outfit would you rock outside of a pilgrimage?