Wednesday, 10 October 2012

Dinner for One

This past weekend was Thanksgiving weekend. It is a time during which families and friends get together and traditions and routines are put on display. This is especially hard on a newly single person. Being in a relationship for a prolonged period of time brings a partner into one’s home and makes room for them at the table, leaving a gaping empty spot in what used to be their place when they are gone. Whether it was a happy or hurtful break up, the holidays tend to bring up some unwanted memories. You cannot help but remember them sitting at the table, smirking at you due to an inside joke, conversing with your friends and family and just being there confirming the holiday warmth. Therefore it is only natural that the holidays can be a nightmarish ordeal for the newly single, recently dumped, freshly freed, etc.

Some ways to cope:
Ensure that your immediate family and close friends are aware of your new status so that they can become your diversion force. They can scatter themselves around the table thereby occupying the seat beside you/wherever your significant other sat. They can help deflect conversations about your relationship status and quickly change topics with nosy extended family members. But most importantly they can be your reminder of the positivity in your life. Of course it would be great if family and friends knew to do this already but sometimes they may need a gentle reminder that you may still be hurting/healing. These four to five individuals who are devoid of judging you can help ease your unattached status into the holiday parties and mood.

Take a breather if you need one. There’s no point overdoing a positive appearance if you do not feel like it. Take a moment and excuse yourself to the washroom, take a couple of deep breaths, realize that you are accepting the reality that is yours and not denying it, be thankful for the support that you have around you and then exit back to the festivities. Allow yourself to be distracted with the celebrations, you deserve it.
Wear something daring that puts you in good spirits and in a way allows you to focus on on something else. Pulling off a new outfit or something different gives you something else to concentrate on and is especially great because it is something that you are doing for yourself. Daring does not mean provocative, it means an outfit that you've been wanting to try out but wondered if you could ever pull off - this is subjective (check out upcoming post on the maxi dare).

Try to involve yourself in the preparations and the conversations.
I know that there are some times when we would rather be curled up in bed rather than out with people, but a newly single individual gets enough alone time and needs to maximize the opportunities to be around people. It may suck to explain your situation but the more people you are comfortable telling, the more you come to accept it and deal with it.

Happy healing :)

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