Like something big
is supposed to happen to me but it hasn't yet.
And I'm waiting.
Waiting for it to
Waiting to know what
This waiting has me
I can't enjoy
moments because I keep thinking about this 'big thing'.
Wondering what it
Wondering if where I
am currently and what I'm doing is a step in the right direction.
Is this bar I'm at
or are these friends I'm with a waste of time?
Do I need to go home
and reroute my life to get to this 'big thing'?
But I want to enjoy
Getting dressed up for silly occasions.
Maybe the 'big
thing' can wait.
If it's going to
happen, it will.
So why give up my
current happiness for what will be future happiness.
It's an uneasy
feeling so it's hard to shake off.
But maybe this bar,
this guy, this job, are steps in the right direction.
If I make it so.
I either learn that
I like it and enjoy it or that it's not for me.
Both put me in a
better position and closer to the 'big thing'.
Maybe the 'big
thing' is me.
And my every moment.
Maybe the big thing
is just my ambition.
My consistent want
for more, for better, for bigger.
But maybe it's my
enjoyment of the current pleasures will aid rather than inhibit my ambitions
for my future.
So maybe it's in
contentment of every moment that I can find fuel for my ambition.
If you can't be
happy now, chances are that you are sour and that taints your drive to your
goals. Happiness, even in the smallest of circumstances puts a positive spin
and helps fuel your drive to where you want to someday be.