Friday, 9 March 2012

One Ain't Enough

Hanging around with a bunch of my very close ladies during a much looked forward to girls' night the topic of men came about, as can only be expected. While we talked about guys who were friends, dates, lovers, exes, colleagues, etc. I began to think of the different qualities that we loved in different men and how great it would be to combine different aspects of different men into this one 'perfect' being.

But then came an absurd question: while some (douchy) males have suggested that men should be forgiven when they cheat because they aren't 'wired' for monogamy, is it that weird for women to want to date more than one man since just one man can't/may not be able to possibly fulfil the physical, social, and emotional goals of a woman?*
"There's the guy at work who just clicks with me, we have the same interests and can talk for hours about anything. And then there's the ex who is the perfect lover that makes your toes curl. And lastly the best friend who completely understands how you're feeling without even saying anything and your friends love him. Ahhh, how I wish I could date all three" - a friend of a friend.

But then came the reality checks - women look for 'the one', they look for 'one' person to satisfy all their needs, they look for the 'one' who can fufil all three categories - physical, social, emotional (I'm sure there's more categories)  - maybe not perfectly, but to a level that makes her happy. So even if he may not be an Adonis in bed, he understands you, listens, is by your side at social events, and has your trust OR he may be socially awkward, but is there for you when you need him and makes your toes curl as necessary.

So as women's lives get more complex and their needs and desires grow will the search for the 'perfect' man get harder or will double and triple dating come back into fashion or will we continue to be happy with partners who come close to perfect?

*none of this suggest that all women feel the same way towards dating and relationships

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